Thinking About Writing Your Own Wedding Vows? Here’s Why You Absolutely Should

Writing your own vows can feel a bit terrifying at first. You're staring at a blank page, wondering: “So… how do I pour my entire heart into words without sounding completely cringe?” Or maybe: “How am I supposed to say anything when I know I’ll be sobbing the whole way through?”

I get it. It can feel like a lot.But let me tell you something: writing your own vows is one of the best decisions you can make for your wedding ceremony.

Here’s why:

💛 It makes your ceremony deeply personal — no two people are the same, and no two relationships are either. Vows you’ve written yourself add a unique, heartfelt layer that a pre-written script simply can’t match.

💛 You get to say what you actually feel — not what tradition says you “should” say.

💛 It’s the bit guests remember — honestly, it’s often the part they talk about for years.💛 It’s a chance to make your partner laugh or cry — or both at once..

💛 It brings that “you two” magic into the ceremony — the private jokes, the real stories, the way you look at each other when no one else is watching.

But what if it feels overwhelming?

You're not alone. A lot of people feel a bit intimidated at first. The good news? You don’t need to be a poet or a writer. You just need to be honest. Here are some tips to help you get started — and make it way less scary:

✍️ Start early – and start small

Keep a running list in your notes app or a notebook. Don’t overthink it — just jot down little moments as they happen.

For example (and this might be me oversharing, but hey, here we go 😅):Sometimes I’ll be watching my partner and suddenly get this huge, heart-squeezing rush of love. Like, “How is this incredible person actually mine?” Everything she says or does feels like magic, and I just want to squeeze her and never let go.

…And then five minutes later I’m moaning at her for not emptying the dishwasher. 😂

That’s real life. That’s love. And those heart-bursting, silly, everyday moments? That’s your vow-writing gold. Capture them. Write them down. Build from there.

Ask yourself:– What do I love most about them?– How do they make me feel on an ordinary Tuesday?– What tiny things do they do that make me smile every single time?

🧠 Think “stories,” not “sonnets”

You don’t have to be poetic. You don’t even have to be serious the whole time. Some of the most memorable vows I’ve seen begin with “Remember when…”

Telling a real story — even a ridiculous one — instantly brings your vows to life. If they spent half your first date with ketchup on their chin, say it. If they lose the TV remote every night, mention it.

A little gentle roasting or a well-timed punchline can make your vows even more meaningful — because it’s honest. Funny is romantic when it’s real.

💌 And finally: it doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be you

You don’t have to get every word right. You just have to mean them.

Say what’s in your heart. Speak from your real, messy, brilliant, everyday love — and I promise, your partner will feel every single word.

Still not sure where to begin?

That’s okay too. I’ve helped lots of couples find their voices and put their feelings into words — I’ve got templates and gentle pep talks to guide you.

Writing your vows should feel joyful, not stressful. And I’d love to help.

💛